“Transformers: Dark of the Moon” (2011) Review

Autobots (Good)

  1. Love Prime’s look in this movie. It’s my absolute favorite. As with Bee’s new car look and incognito mode. There’s something about that half-transformed look that gets my attention.
  2. I liked the story to this one. There’s more history involved in it and I’ve always been one for  U.S. history.
  3. The human arc was 10 x better than both of the previous movies combined.
  4. Only caught a few sex jokes so whatever people did from 2007-2010 keep doing it cause those jokes were bad. Very bad.
  5. Optimus flying into the battle is soooooooooo fantasticly awesome!!

Decepticons (Bad)

  1. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was the worst human in the movie. Sam’s girls are poorly written, more over any main girl is terrible in this franchise.
  2. Only one production flaw I found was when Sam was flung in the air by Starscream. It’s pretty bad work. Almost as bad as Iron Man’s effects in Civil War (2016) at the airport.
  3. Megatron did not do anything. He was almost wasted. I guess it doesn’t matter any more, but they could have wrote in a bigger part for him.

Ratings:

8.0/10, B+, 4/5 GM

Favorite quotes:

  1. “In any war, there are calms between the storms. There will be days when we lose faith, days when our allies turn against us. But the day will never come, that we forsake this planet and its people.” – OP/Peter Cullen
  2. “Never moarn the past young warrior” – Sentinel Prime/Leonard Nimroy
  3. “For today, in the name of freedom, we take the battle to them!” – Prime/Cullen
  4. “Years from now they’re going to ask us, ‘where were you when they took over the planet?’ We’re gonna say, ‘we stood by and watched'” – Simmons/ John Turturro

Synopsis

The Cybertronian war is close to its end. Optimus tells of one ship (The Xantium) that was carrying valuable cargo that would have been able to help the Autobots win the war against Megatron. The Xantium is shot down and lands on the dark side of the moon in 1961. NASA planned and covered up the real reason why they were going to the moon, and it was to see what had landed or who had landed there. Buzz Aldrin, Michael Collins, and Neil Armstrong were later sworn into secrecy or would do time for treason.

Bee, Sideswipe, and Dino (Francesco Quinn) are helping out in some oil rig in the middle east it looks like. Que / Wheeljack (George Coe), Topspin, Leadfoot / Target (John DiMaggio), Roadbuster / Amp (Ron Bottitta) (the Wreckers), and Brains, who stays with Sam, are also new Autobots. Optimus, Ratchet, Lennox, and other NEST soldiers are in Chernobyl, Ukraine, thanks to Voshkod (Ravil Isyanov) who had been working for the Cons, recovering a part of the ship that was the cause to the “nuclear” explosion back in ’77. While in Chernobyl, Optimus encounters one of his old enemies, Shockwave. When they get back to the hanger, Charlotte Mearing (Frances McDormand), Director of National Intel., comes in on the phone talking to someone about various missions and politicians. She is old school and plays by the book until Sam proved that Sentinel was the key to the Decepticon plan. Ratchet and Optimus go to the moon with a few humans and bring back the pillars (space bridge parts) and Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy).

Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave (Frank Welker), and Laserbeak (Keith Szarabajkaare hiding out somewhere in Africa, and Megatron looks terrible. He has copies of Scalpel working on his face that ultimately gets even more destroyed in the final battle. Megatron tells Laserbeak that it is time for the human ties to be cut loose. This brings the Cons back to Sam and the danger and explosives that are involved.

Sam is searching for a job and having difficulty coping with the fact that he is no longer needed. At least he found a new girlfriend, Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). He tries many different places while his parents are driving him. He ends up being a mailman and is hired by a wack-job named Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich). Dylan (Patrick Dempsey), Carly’s boss and human antagonist, helps him out getting the job. At his new job, he meets a man named Jerry Wang (Ken Jeong) who is killed by Laserbeak  but makes it out to look like a suicide. Jerry has told Sam about the dark side of the moon and how humans have been working with them since the moon landing.

After Laserbeak attacks the workers, Sam takes his old crappy car and Carly to the NEST quarters in which case the guards act like they have no idea what he is talking about; Bee comes to his rescue after Sam called for him. Since the Cons are back, Sam needs help from someone with years of experience with the Transformers. Simmons is back along with Dutch (Alan Tudyk), his butler. They are working hard when Carly finds them all in her apartment and she is not happy to that. She leaves to go to Dylan’s party.

Bee, Sideswipe, Dino, Sam, Dutch, and Simmons go to find a few Russians that were supposed to go to the moon, however, since the space program was shut down, their mission never got the green light. transformers-dark-of-the-moon-imax2The Russians explain that there had been these weird rock formations and cables scattered throughout the dark side. Sam talks through the process of how the Cons go their master to work. They hurry back to NEST to protect Sentinel when they are all under fire from Crowbar, Hatchet, and Crankcase. Ironhide and Sideswipe get the job done. Sadly Ironhide is shot and killed by Sentinel.

Sam goes to his parents’ RV to ask if they have seen Carly and tells them to get out of Chicago and goes off to Dylan’s party where Dylan asserts that he has inherited the Decepticons as clients from his father. Soundwave has taken Carly as a prisoner and Sam tries to free her but only ends up with a Decepticon wrapped around his wrist that sees what he sees and hear what he thinks and listens to. Sentinel has released a request that if they exile the Autobots, then they will negotiate terms. This is a deception and Starscream blows the Xantium up. Sam is stunned; he does not know what to do now and only gets himself into more trouble. Epps comes along and asks his NEST friends to aid in their quest to find Carly.

Lennox and NEST soldiers wing suit into Chicago since the city is impossible to get into from every which way. Epps, Sam, and the Autobots try their best to go through quietly and swiftly. Dylan runs to tell Megatron that the Autobots are alive, and all the ships go to find them. Shockwave is one of the first Cons and detaches the flight tech that belongs to Optimus. Epps, Sam, Carly, and retired NEST soldiers try to destroy the pillar and are atop of a building when Shockwave comes and wrecks the place up after a few Cons shot at it. After they escape with the help of Optimus, who then gets tangled up in wires and untangled by the Wreckers, they run closer to the pillars. Starscream breaks the group up and flies to Sam who uses Que’s inventions that both blinded him and killed him via bomb to the eye.

Epps and Lennox reunite while Bee, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Dino, and Que are captured by Soundwave and other Cons. Thankfully Brains and Wheelie had fallen behind and got sucked into one of the main ship carriers; they are able to pull wires that bring the ship down which distracts Soundwave, who killed Que already, and is soon sucker gunned by Bee. Optimus flies in and Sentinel really has the upper hand until Carly convinces Megatron that he is not in control anymore. Optimus kills Megatron with one arm and an axe.

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